INT. BOARDROOM COMMITTEE FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF HUMANKIND

A chairwoman is in front of a table surrounded by 5 men in
suits.

CHAIRWOMAN
We cannot possibly give any more
time and money to contribute to
this man's...bastardization of
science. It's just absurd on all
counts.

GUY 1
So what are you suggesting?

CHAIRWOMAN
I'm suggesting we cut all the
funding to this lunatic's research
and continue to develop radiation
tablets for the
forthcoming...Apocalypse.

GUY 2
Hold on we aren't even positive
that it's going to effect us.

CHAIRWOMAN
All signs point to a sun flare
within the next ten years that will
send enough radiation to the Earth
to poison half of our inhabitants
and destroy the rest.† Developing a
radiation supplement now can save
at least half of mankind.

Enter scientist tripping over briefcase.

SCIENTIST
Sorry I'm late, I was working late
on the project.

CHAIRWOMAN
What project, we've given you a
gracious budget to develop your
solution to our impending doom, and
all you have to show for it is a
handful of meaningless research and
a complete disregard for alarm
clocks and this whole committee.

SCIENTIST
But I've made a breakthrough, I'm
only late because I was perfecting
a device that will take over our
search, a device that will save
countless human lives and discover
hospitable locations across the
galaxy!

GUY 2
The Galaxy! Sir you were given
funding to create hospitable
locations across the globe, not
find them around the galaxy!

SCIENTIST
Yes, I know, but I've created what
could be key to solving all of our
problems, the shortage of fossil
fuels, overpopulation, our toll on
the Earth, as well as radiation.

CHAIRWOMAN
I think this is enough to prove my
point. This man should be committed
rather than given any more of our
time or resources.

GUY 3
Let him speak, we've already given
him plenty of funding and
resources, we should at least see
where that's gotten us.

SCIENTIST
Thank you sir, I appreciate your
faith in me.

GUY 3
I have no faith in you! I told this
committee to kick you to the curb
at the beginning, I just want them
to see all the funding we've††
wasted.

GUY 4
Quiet! We gave him the floor, now
let him explain.

SCIENTIST
Well essentially what I've created
is a person on all counts.

GUY 1
Ha! My wife made six, why don't you
get to the point.

SCIENTIST
The point is, he's a sentient being
that can float through the galaxy
for hundreds of years.

GUY 4
So you've made a robot that thinks
like a person.

SCIENTIST
Exactly.

GUY 4
So it seems strides have been made.

CHAIRWOMAN
Strides? We commissioned him to
create safe havens around the
world, not...dick around in space!

GUY 3
She has a point he's completely
ignored what he was given funding
for.

SCIENTIST
In order to save the planet!

Digging through briefcase.
I'll have him up and running
tonight, and you can see this
miracle of science!

CHAIRWOMAN
Well show us something now!

SCIENTIST
(Still digging through
briefcase)
I'm trying it just seems
I've...left my notes at home...

CHAIRWOMAN
Sir the only miracle here is the
fact that you can even put on your
shoes in the morning.

GUY 1-5
(laughing)


GUY 1
It's decided then, we'll cut
funding from this failure and
redisperse it amongst the radiation
division of our research group? †

SCIENTIST
But we could save the whole planet!

CHAIRWOMAN
It's too late for that. I believe
we're done here...(looks around the
room. No one moves) Good day
doctor, better hope you're in the
lucky half...