I didn't ask to live in this mess.
I didn't ask to live with all this stress.
I didn't ask to live, but you turned me on.
In forty years I'll be gone.
You made me out of recycled parts.
You flipped the switch and hit start.
You gave me thoughts and the will to try,
And now I wonder, wonder what it's like to die.
And now I live my life in dread
Of when I'll finally lay my head.
Who made you the creator?
I have a complaint for your superior
Being that I can't shake this thought
That I should never have been brought
To life. I lost the will to try, and just wonder, wonder what it's like to die.
You left me so ignorant,
How can I feel anything at all?
When you come to find
That the answers you're looking for dwell in the back of your mind,
Like why we're here
And why your hopeless obsession comes back year after year,
You fight it off.
The thought that you're useless, the thought that we're better off
Dead. 'cause what we strive for,
Leaves us nothings but gluttons and heathens working toward our own end.
When you've had enough,
You start filling your lungs and your veins with the heavy stuff.
And you can't stop
'Til your brains good and blind 'til your thoughts and your motives just
Fall off
But was it worth the cost?
You know you'll never shake it off.
The feeling you mean nothing, you're just depressing and
It wears off you're left with nothing but
Thoughts that you're living for yourself.
It's all relative. You have no relative notions,
Wanna dive in the ocean.
And swim off where you can be alone,
because you've finally lost your home.
Your friends and family moving on
without your addictions to drag 'em down.
It falls off.
But was is worth the cost?
You know you'll never shake it off.
The feeling you mean nothing, you're just depressing and
It wears off you're left with nothing but
Thoughts that you're living for yourself.
Say your prayers tonight.
It'll be ok, I think.
Dragons will come tonight.
They'll rip out your souls and sing,
"Oh dear boy you have sinned,
Your place in life is pinned down."
You'll be tortured and lifeless
And broken and pointless,
You'll tire down
Wanna shout
Kicking and screaming out,
"Lord just take me now,
It never made sense you were real
Just end it all,
I never want to feel again.
I'm tired now.
It's not worth it now.
So just send me to hell
'cause as far as I tell,
I don't want to be close to your ghost of destruction now."
The human race is ending.
Everything that we know is gone.
Now with destruction pending
We've lost the will to carry on.
We try and we fight and we die.
The rules of death just don't apply.
We just keep killing and dying and holding back tears.
The demons feed off our fears.
"Lord just take me now,
It never made sense you were real.
You can't blame me now.
You don't know what it is to feel.
If you can cause this much pain
And death and destruction you must be insane."
If your god is full of such vanity
Someone must be on the wrong side of sanity.
In the pews voices sang to me
Preaching something that I could believe.
Back then it just seemed so clear,
'Til the pieces began to disappear.
My mind is an explosion
Of conflicting thoughts,
Seeing gods in an ink blot.
Taking a religion
Won't find it out.
In the halls teachers talked to me.
Told me what a success I could be.
Back then it just all made sense.
'Til I learned to comprehend nonsense.
My mind is an excursion,
But still I whine
Doing time in a straight line
Making a decision
Won't plot it out.
credits
released December 18, 2011
All Songs Recorded and mixed by Gabe Usery.
Written and Performed by Durango.
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